The mock interview


Now that you have found your way through the labyrinth
What don’t you understand?
You may ask anything you want.

If it is in my program
I will be happy to answer,
Tilting my head slightly and smiling.

But first: How much do you want this job on a scale of 1 to 100?
On a scale of 1 to 1,000,000?
Before we get started let me say

That here there is no discrimination.
I am predisposed to overlook every aberration
Of your essential humanity.

If you break down and cry a little
It will not be counted against you.
If you rant about how everything is broken,

I will smile sympathetically,
And wait for your emotions to subside,
Noting your humanity.

Then I might ask you a few questions such as:
Can you accept that everything that is wrong
Is somebody else’s fault?

Can you work in a small place with no window and no
Natural light? Can you work in a place with no
Exit, no ventilation, that seems to get smaller every day?

Can you work in a place with no future?
Can you work in a place with no access to power?
Can you work continually with no time off?

How do you feel about mumble mumble?
Do you have any questions for us?
When can you start?