Dreadful knocking — a sonnet followed by a reflection on what is meant by “dharma”

Some like to test the acuity of their brain
To see if they are losing any powers of cognition,
But I have watched more than just cognition wane
From coast to coast across this fogged-in nation.
It used to be smog that made it hard to breathe
But now it’s something else that steals my breath.
May I interest you in a cool drink from the Lethe?
And what’s that dreadful knocking? I feel like MacBeth!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? My soul?
Or maybe it’s my conscience or my heart.
I was guilty of forgetting, but now I’m on parole,
So Knock, knock. Who’s there? A fresh start?
I’ve served time in this prison of shitty kharma.
It might be time to embrace a different dharma.
………..
A reflection on what is meant by dharma:

When we are living our lives in reaction to things that have happened to us or things in our personalities that were genetically down-loaded (i.e., “he has his grandfather’s temper”. . .”I come from a broken home”. . .”I was a foster child”.). . .that is our karma, and this, for most people, defines the first half of life, if you want to divide life into two “halves”. (We can transform our karma with hard work during our lives, but if we just accept our karma (or “lot” in life) we are living under its yoke and “fate” becomes the most powerful force in our lives. (Things just “happen” to us.)

But at some point something shifts. Maybe for some folks it is when they have kids or they quit a stifling job or they move to Vermont from a city! When we begin to live by future causes then there is a sea change and we begin see a path into the future unfold and karma is no longer the dominant factor in our lives. We begin to explore our “dharma”. Now read this couplet:

I’ve served time in this prison of shitty kharma.
It might be time to embrace a different dharma.

I pulled some books from my library to get a good definition of dharma to help us understand what this couplet is saying:

Dharma might be thought of as: The ultimate value or meaning of one’s life that can “dawn on one” via a vision or in the course of following a path or practice, that can change the course of one’s life. But it is not “the” or “a” path (such as the path of Buddhism) unless it is experienced as your unique path of the flowering of your own Buddha nature. (Riding the Ox Home Willard Johnson)

Another way of thinking of dharma: A dawning of the fullness of one’s dharma can awaken one from one’s habitually cherished way of thinking (rut) . . .The dharma may be “devoid of substance” and yet powerful enough to awaken a vision of another world or another world of possibilities. But the dharma is nothing if not personal that might be experienced as “growing out of oneself” (or one’s old self), as opposed to having some new awareness being “poured into” one. (Essays in Zen Buddhism D.T Suzuki)

The dharma arises not from the assimilation of a wisdom or teaching leading to a practice but it arises from continuous and never-ceasing inner growth that manifests as one’s way or path. (Essays in Buddhism D.T. Suzuki)
………….
At a certain point in life, because of a synchronicity or a culmination of chance events, we arrive at an intersection where we can choose to step onto a path that is our unique path. For a Jungian it means “individuating”. For a Native American it means “taking one’s power”. For a Buddhist it means fulfilling one’s dharma.

In this poem I am peeling myself away from associating with the bad karma of the United States so that I might walk my own Dharma-path.

Again: “The dharma arises not from the assimilation of a wisdom or teaching leading to a practice but it arises from continuous and never-ceasing inner growth that manifests as one’s way or path.”