A Party for the American People

This poem is based on two assumptions:

1) A party is good for the American People.

2) There actually are “American People”.

So, let’s have a party and invite the American People!
Let’s have a theme.
We’ll get everything we need from the party store!
There will be a DJ, and a huge cake.
And zombies serving finger food.

(The American People get zombies.)

There will be lots of young beautiful educated people
From other countries
Walking around nodding and smiling.

(The American People get foreigners.)

There will be a dog there so the American People
Can have something to distract them
From trying to be too clever.
happy bday

(The American People get dogs.)

Look at that, dog! Did you see what that dog just did?

Did you hear about the dog that saved a whole town from starvation?

I love dogs!

The lights flicker off and on.
The American People stop talking
And start up again. . .

(The American People trust electricity!)

What was I saying?
It must not have been that important!

Ting ting ting.
Shh. Shh.
Ting ting ting.

(Someone wants to make an announcement.)

(The American People love to be interrupted by announcements.)

Does anyone know why we’re all here?

Nobody knows what to say?

That wasn’t an announcement!

Ting ting ting.

(Somebody wants to make a real announcement.)

It’s my birthday!

Now that’s a real announcement!

(American People love / hate to sing happy birthday.)

Somebody starts murmuring.
More murmuring.

The zombies lurch and spill everything.
The dog starts barking.

This is a great party for the American People!

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday American People,
Happy birthday to you.

Now grow up.

— Gary Lindorff