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Jeff Sessions, Jesus Christ and Reefer Madness

Gnome Takes Axe to Drug War Reform

One of the ironies of the drug war is that while weed is being legalized locally, it remains illegal under federal statutes. But that should not stop Mr. Sessions from at least trying grass to see what the hubbub is all about. Expand his thinking. He could do like William Buckley famously did and take some rich friend’s yacht (I’m sure he can find a rich friend with a boat) out beyond the 12-mile-limit to do his reefer. Or, much more relaxing, he could declare he’s acting under local jurisdiction (remember how conservatives like Mr. Sessions used to passionately advocate for states’ rights, instead of the other way around); he could smoke his spliff in the comfort of his home in the District of Colombia, the city where he works. Many people may not know this, but it’s perfectly legal in D.C. to possess under two ounces of pot and smoke it in a private residence. It would be perfectly legal for President Donald Trump to light up a bone in the private quarters of the White House; he would have to consult with his attorney general if he wanted to take a hit in the public Oval Office.

I don’t mean this suggestion disrespectfully -- or even sarcastically. I’m dead serious. As in: Please, can we lighten up and focus on what’s really important? As in: By all means, yes, let's discourage pot use among tender young minds, as we improve the less-than-stellar education of those young minds with better curricula in areas like history and critical thinking. We're now shamefully a basket-case nation in education compared to places like Finland, where kids are taught how to think. (Which seriously raises the question: In a marketing-based, consumer culture, is critical thinking subversive?) In an open-minded, educative spirit, I honestly think it would benefit us all if Jeff Session were to learn what it practically means to smoke marijuana. I submit it would open his moral outlook to a wider range of human empathy in a nation where he serves as attorney general; that is, it would help get him out of the narrow world he has fashioned in his mind. He'd begin to understand that pot is nowhere near as socially dangerous as alcohol -- a legal intoxicant the country went through a difficult period trying to outlaw. That period, as we all know from the movies, succeeded only in giving us Al Capone, corrupt cops and help in establishing a powerful criminal underworld.

Mr. Sessions might also begin to realize the issue of pot has absolutely nothing to do with God and his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. Sessions, who is a favorite among evangelicals, was appointed attorney general by the deeply spiritual Donald Trump. Earlier, President George W. Bush assured us the ideas of Jesus Christ were tops in his mind and, thus, a fine guide on how to run the country. We can’t be sure whether Jesus Christ would have fired James Comey or whether he would have colluded with Russians. It's likely Jesus Christ would have turned the other cheek and forgiven Mr. Comey for not swearing 100% discipleship. But, truth be known, it’s absurd to suggest anyone can really know what Jesus Christ would do in a modern context. Which means one is left to imagine what Jesus Christ would do: imagination and metaphor construction are how the philosophers suggest we humans make sense in our heads out of the chaos of life. So all we can know for sure is that the answers to all these questions are somewhere in the attorney general's deeply religious mind and in his powerful hands.



story | by Dr. Radut